Valerie and Pierce (Part 2)

Pierce: This is what your school does for a dance?

Valerie: Yeah. They really go all out.

Pierce: Yes they do.

(They stand next to each other awkwardly)

Pierce: Are you ok?

Valerie: Yeah. I am.

Pierce: Come here.

(Pierce leads her to a bench)

Pierce: Sit.

(Valerie sits)

Pierce: What’s up? Is something wrong?

Valerie: No. Nothing. I’m ok.

Pierce: Really?

Valerie: No (Valley girl accent) actually my shoes totally do not match my dress and this is a complete disaster!

Pierce: Stop.

Valerie: Stop what?

Pierce: Stop being like that. Don’t brush things off like they’re nothing. Please don’t make jokes and try to be cute. I mean, you are cute, very cute, in fact, but that’s not what I mean. I mean, (sigh). Don’t fake like you are ok when I can see in your eyes that you’re anything but. And please, please talk to me. (Pierce stands in front of Valerie and takes her hands in his) Tell me what is wrong.

(Valerie walks away from Pierce and takes a minute.)

Valerie: I don’t know anymore. I-i can’t really put my finger on it. I feel so happy at times. But then there are day that I can’t even muster up a laugh. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I’m really glad that we’re...whatever we are. But...it’s not..

Pierce: Enough?

Valerie: Yes.

(Pierce sits on the bench and Valerie moves to sit next to him.)

Pierce: Please just explain to me what you mean.

Valerie: (sits) I’m trying.

Pierce: Do you want a hug?

Valerie: No.

Pierce: Do you want to hold my hand and talk about it?

(Valerie looks at Pierce’s hand. He slowly takes it and kisses it.)

Pierce: You know that you’re not alone in this, right?

Valerie: I need to tell you something.

Pierce: I do too. I love you.

Valerie: I don’t want to see you anymore.

(silence)

Pierce: What?

Valerie: (lets go off his hand and walks a few steps) For some time in my life I had been in this gray area of sadness and content, anger and calm, peace and chaos. I juggled it so much and I tried to what I could to keep it more in balance. But the more I tried, the more out of balance it became. Then I finally just did it. I did the one thing I dreaded doing and never wanted to do. I never wanted everything to come so out of balance that I would...end it all. I honestly thought that it would smooth out. But it never did. It only got worse and I couldn’t take it. But then I woke up. I was in that hospital bed thinking about what I had done, really thinking about what I had done and seeing how it affected my family. But even now I’m unsure if I matter.

Pierce: But you do. You matter to me.

Valerie: Thank you, but I think that it’s more of finding self worth in myself. By myself.

Pierce: So this is it. You’re ending it.

Valerie: Yes.

Pierce: So you’re leaving me? Alone?

Valerie: I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself, so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me.

Pierce: I don’t care about that. All I care about is you. I love you. I can help you get better.

Valerie: Pierce, I am not abandoning you but this is not healthy. I want you to take care of yourself and care about my well-being as much as you care about mine. We both need to care about ourselves as much as we care about each other’s.

Pierce: So you care about me?

Valerie: Yes I do. Please try to understand what I’m saying.

Pierce: I do. I get it. I’ll be here if you need me. You know, as a friend.

Valerie: You are very important to me. The only reason I’m doing this is so we both can figure this out. We can’t depend on each other to fix one another. We need to do that ourselves. If you need a friend, I am here for you. they hug each other and walk off of the stage

The Storyteller

Let me tell you a story. It’s a lovely one that you have never heard before. The beginning is simple and very common among most fairytales. It’s what you’ve been told your whole life. But the ending is not so simple.

Now, let us begin. There once was a girl who fell in love with a prince. She never thought he would notice her so she got a new dress and a fancy hair do. Then when she crashed his ball he fell in love with at first sight and proposed to her after their first dance. They got married and it was a merry time. This is something we hear our whole lives but there is a part two to this fairytale. The girl who is now a princess lives in a wonderful tower with many servants and her lovely prince. Happy ending? Wrong. The prince is always busy with spending time with his friends, playing polo and rugby, and he loves to throw exquisite parties where they celebrate him. That is something he just loves to talk about. Himself. If the princess tries to talk about her day then the prince talks over her or pretends to snore loudly and guffaws disgustingly. “Just continue to look so beautiful, darling.” That’s what he always said to her. Of course, she had no choice to look nothing but beautiful. The prince would literally shudder in disgust when he saw her without any fancy hair or makeup. There were nights when she had to be made up in bed so that the prince would sleep in the same bed as her. She had to get up at a ridiculous hour in order to look picture perfect so that when the prince woke up and looked at her he would say “Now there is the beautiful girl I love.”

The princess didn’t have many duties. She was no longer allowed to read and had to attend many brunches with women who would proudly criticize her clothing and say horrid things to her until she ran away crying and then they’re loud and nasal laughs would fill their beautiful and well tended to gardens. She would stand up to them only to be scolded by her prince and have him chide her like she was a third grader who deserved a spanking. The servants were no kinder whispering how she did not deserve all that she had and that she was ungrateful. All in all life was not as amazing as she had always dreamed.

But there were more troubling matters in the kingdom. In one of the far off neighboring villages, someone saw a large beast fly over the town. They said the wings were power and large, creating winds that would uproot the trees and send livestock miles away. It’s eyes were the things of the darkest and most terrifying nightmares. And it could incinerate a person to complete ash before they could even think to say a word of prayer to whatever deity comes of the top of their heads.

So the prince was on high alert, training knights everyday, and making sure to encourage the people to give their young boys to the king’s army so they could defeat the horrible beast. The princess was initially frightened, however, she remember stories of beasts as these. Usually creatures of extraordinary magic living in dark caves by themselves, last of their kind, and are treated brutally and mercilessly when captured. She knew her prince’s pure hatred for the creature, but it didn’t stop her from being completely fascinated in the animal. Then one night the prince had gathered his soldiers into his home for a party for the next day they would venture into a forsaken farmland where the creature was rumored to be resting. Only the creature was not in the farmland, it was waiting outside of the castle.

Then there was a loud boom followed by an earth shattering quake that shook the entire citadel and enclosed the hearts of everyone inside with a knee buckling fear that their end was near. The prince called the men to the castle’s door to meet the face of this beast. The servants rushed all women to the kitchen. The princess was both cautiously frightened but uncontrollably giddy. A creature of fairytales and myth! Here! Right at her feet! She hid in one of the pantries and took a secret staircase to the castle’s garden. And slowly she stepped onto the cold earth.

Her back was still against the cold stone walls of the castle. Her breathing slow and labored as she tried to still her rampart heart. She could hear the clinking of the soldiers armor, they were slow and cautious, yet they shook slightly in fear of being burned alive. Then in the distance was a faint wind that picked up and as she turned peeking into the center lawn of the castle she was the beast descending in a grace that both beautiful and utterly petrifying. The monsters wings cut through the air like a knife to butter. It’s eyes focusing on the soldiers like they were a meal and the animal had not eaten in weeks. And the creature’s roar sent a thundering tremble in the very soul of everyone in the lawn. The prince swung with great force, but the creature simply breathed and sent the army of soldiers flying backward as if they were fallen leaves. Many young nights poked at the beast but it remained unharmed. The prince shouted orders and directed the young men around the creature. The beast twisted and screeched as the army started to enclose upon it. The princess crawled into a bush and continued to watch, completely entranced with the creature’s fluid defense movements. Then the princess realized. The best was not here to conquer or kill. It had no desire to maim nor harm those who inhabited the land. Then why was it here?

Just as she contemplated this the prince screamed a loud order and then millions of arrows fell from the sky. They impaled the creature and stuck it down. The knights were running forward with a net. To entrap this creature. Is this right? Should we really entrap such a beautiful artifact of magic and fiction? Then in a split moment the beast’s eyes met hers. There she saw the creature's true nature. It was sad. It was alone. Ridiculed and hated by all and shunned for being different. That’s when she knew what had to be done. And as neurotic as she felt, she jumped from the bush screaming at the top of her lungs running towards the creature. The prince saw her and yelled at her to get away but it was too late. The beast went free. The soldiers finally ran away scared. The prince turned to the princess and screamed a harsh word to her and ran to her. He grabbed her around the throat and threw her to the ground. He kicked her over and punched her again blaming her for condemning his kingdom. She cowered in pain and tried to wipe her blood of her face. When she slowly turned on her back and looked into the prince’s eyes and saw his true nature as well. Then he raised his sword high above his head and slowly a smile full of wickedness took his face. Then a look of dread and surprise took his face. The dragon’s claw had impaled the prince through is back and through his stomach. Then the dragon flicked the prince over his shoulder as if her were a gum wrapper. The princess looked into the beast’s to see empathy. This creature knew how she felt everyday and how horrible and dejected she felt when she woke up every morning. Then the most amazing thing happened. The dragon gently place the princess on his back and took off. As she lie silently on it’s back, she could feel the cool air on her face, but also something else. Something that overpowered her and took root in her soul and spread throughout her being, warm and strong. Then for the first time in a long time she smiled and laughed. A loud joyous laugh convulsed her whole body with pure unadulterated glee.

Valerie and Pierce (Part 1)

Valerie: Hi?

Pierce: Why did you say that like a question?

Valerie: Excuse me?

Pierce: You are excused. But what I mean is that you greeted me with like it was a question. As if you were not sure that “hi” was an appropriate way to greet me. But the fact that you spoke to me at all makes me heart flutter like a hummingbird’s wings.

Valerie: Uh, okay...

(Valerie pulls out a notebook and starts to write in it. Pierce watches her write.)

Valerie: You’re not going to be able to read it from there.

Pierce: Is that an invitation to read your most private and innermost thoughts?

Valerie: No. It’s just that..I thought you were trying...to read..my journal.

Pierce: As I curious as I am to read the depths of your complex mind, I think that we should set some boundaries seeing as we just met.

Valerie: Okay well first of all, if you really want to set some boundaries then please stop looking at me. And secondly, what makes you think that I’m complex?

Pierce: You are human. All humans are complex. We have own quirks and flaws we need to fix.

Valerie: Really?

Pierce: Yes.

(Pause)

Valerie: What are yours?

Pierce: Mine?

Valerie: Yes. Yours. What are your quirks and flaws that you’re working on?

Pierce: (takes a deep breath) I am dealing with PTSD.

Valerie: Wow.

Pierce: Yeah. And I am also getting treatment for dementia.

Valerie: Oh, uh, I mean, wow.

Pierce: Yeah.

Valerie: I’m here for eating, anxiety, and depression disorder therapy.

Pierce: That’s a lot.

Valerie: So is PTSD and dementia.

Pierce: Well those things often work hand in hand. So...

(awkward silence)

Valerie: Do you know why they call the sand sand?

Pierce: Excuse me?

Valerie: You’re excused.

Pierce: Thank you.

Valerie: Do you know why they call the sand sand?

Pierce: No I do not. Could you please tell me why?

Valerie: Why? Of course.

Pierce: Thank you.

Valerie: They call the sand the sand because it’s between sea and land.

Pierce: (smiles) Do you know why they call leaves leaves?

Valerie: Because they always leave the tree.

Pierce and Valerie make eye contact and both look away from each other.

More Than This Emptiness

I’m not happy. ok? i am not. i do not feel happy really or sad or anything. i wish i felt hurt or like crap or at least angry. but i don’t. i don’t really feel anything. i feel empty. like i’m just passing through. it’s really heavy and like i’m walking through a downpour and yet i’m not getting wet. like someone is stabbing my heart but it’s frozen so the pain is numb throbbing feeling in my chest. like i’m just here. honestly the worst kind of sadness is not knowing why you are this way. and it sucks that there is nothing you can do even when you wish you could. i guess i thought i was doing okay but as it turns out i’m not so good.

but sometimes you have to look yourself in the mirror and say “you are more than this emptiness inside of you. you will overcome it and get better. as long you believe that you can, you will.” Always know you matter and that better days are coming. I know what it’s like to want to die. I know. I know what’s it like to want to run into a busy street and hope to God that you do not make it across. But I am telling you that if you feel the same way I do to do one thing for me. Stay. For the good days. And the sunsets. And the people out there who understand. Stay. Just for a little longer. Just to see. We all have to help each other out. Do not sit there and think that no one cares and that no one listens and that no one understands what you are going through. I hate talking about this stuff. I hate it but I’m doing it for anyone who understands what I am saying. Because you are not alone. You are not useless. You can accomplish your goals and find happiness. Don’t give up. Yeah times get hard and there are people who don’t get it. There will be obstacles. But things work out, you know? Even if it doesn’t feel okay for a long time, or even if it feels like things will never be okay again, everything works out in the end. You are perfect. Stop hating your body, your face, your personality, your quirks. Love them. Without those things you wouldn’t be you. Hang on because it gets easier and then it gets okay and then if feels like freedom. You are more beautiful than the scars on your skin and the thoughts in your brain. And I still try to tell myself this and someday I will truly believe it. For me to feel this sad I must have felt so happy. And I will find that feeling again. And so will you. And it will be beautiful.

Valerie: I don’t want to do this. I don’t. I’m not weak or stupid or selfish, okay. I’m not doing this for attention. I didn’t do any of this for attention (motions to scars on her arms. She puts the sleeve back and folds her arms around herself). I really don’t want to do this. I am a good person. I am in the top 5% of my graduating class. I really like to read and sing at weddings. I don’t know how to parallel park and I hate geometry.

I really try. I try. Everyday I do try. I feel this emptiness inside of me. I don’t know what to do most of the time with myself. I have such overwhelming anxiety about everything. When I’m not being anxious, I feel like I am going to cry for days. There are times when I will sit in my room and literally sob for hours.

I really just want this to stop. I don’t know why I feel like this a lot. When I was younger, I would feel like this for weeks at a time and then it would go away. As I got older, I felt it for months. But now I’m a junior in high school and I haven’t felt happy since my middle school graduation. I am dying inside. I just don’t know what to do

And no, I can’t just be happy. I’m not like that. It’s that feeling like there is this weight inside of your chest and you can’t breathe. Everything and everyone seems to be out to get you. You feel like everything is pointless and nothing matters in life. You think that you are worthless because all of your life nothing and no one has ever told you or made you feel like you are of any worth. Everyday you were told by your peers, your “friends”, even your teachers to stop being a baby. Stop complaining so much and making everything about you. You’re selfish. Don’t act like only your problems matter. There are children in Africa who are dying of diarrhea and kids in China are being forced into concentration camps and you keep crying because your mom told you that you’re ugly. Or that your dad called an idiot because you got an 89 on a test. Or that your sister pushes you down the stairs and threw away all of your clothes. Suck it up because there are people who have it worse.

If you really wanted to die, you’d do it already. Well, that’s the thing. I want to die, but I don’t want to kill myself. Does that even make sense? I wake up every morning feeling hopeless and I can’t handle the pain. Sure the pills and the puking and the blades helped but this time...this time. I’m so sorry. (sobbing) I am so sorry.

(Valerie walks off stage and then we hear a gunshot go off.)

Witt and Lucky

Witt and Lucky are sitting next to each other, center stage. Lucky will be jotting things down in her journal and Witt will be listening to music. He’ll look over at her, watching her write. Lucky will glance over at Witt and then look down at her journal again.

Witt: Hi.

Lucky: (hesitantly) Hi.

Witt: What are you writing?

Lucky: Um...nothing.

Witt: Really? That looks like a lot of words for nothing.

Lucky: Are you trying to read it?

Witt: No I can just read all your scribbles from here.

Lucky: Okay, well, first of all, these aren’t just scribbles-

Witt: Oh really?

Lucky: Yes. And second of all, it’s none of your business, so please.

Witt: I’m just curious.

Lucky: (pause) It’s a list.

Witt: A hit list?

Lucky: No. Just a reading list.

Witt: A reading list?

Lucky: Yes a reading list. Okay I know that it sounds lame but every month I write a list of books I am going to read and then I try to complete my list before the month is over.

Witt: Wow.

Lucky: I know right. I get it reading is boring. You don’t have to tell me.

Witt: No, I think it’s cool.

Lucky: (stares at Witt as Witt stares back) You’re lying.

Witt: No really

Lucky: No. People hate reading

Witt: You’re a person aren’t you? And you love to read.

Lucky: Well maybe that’s just the real problem here. Maybe I’m not a person. Maybe a martian.

Witt: Or a unicorn.

Lucky: Did you just call me a unicorn?

Witt: You called yourself a martian.

Lucky: It’s different when I say it. When I say it, it’s funny. When you say it, it’s...different.

Witt: Different?

Lucky: Yes. Like when I call myself ugly, that’s just me talking to myself.

Witt: But you’re not ugly. You’re really cute.

Silence ensues as Witt realizes what he just said aloud.

Lucky: You think that I’m...cute?

Witt: What..uh..no?

Lucky: No?!

Witt: No. Wait! No..I-

Lucky: You don’t think I’m cute. So you do think I’m disgusting?

Witt: I didn’t mean that. I didn’t say that.

Lucky: You didn’t mean that I’m cute or that you didn’t mean to say that out loud.

Witt: No, I mean..uh...I...hold on let me think.

Lucky: Are you thinking?

Witt: I am. Do you think I don’t think?

Lucky: You obviously can’t speak. So I very little faith in your thoughts.

Witt: Do you think that I’m stupid?

Lucky: You’re acting stupid, sounding stupid, and looking stupid, so right now I’m not going to call you a genius.

pause

Lucky: Look, I’m sorry that I called you stupid. I don’t think you’re stupid. I think that you’re kind of awesome.

Witt: You think I’m awesome.

Lucky: Don’t get a big head over it.

Witt: How awesome do you think I am?

Lucky: As cute as you think I am.

Witt: I don’t think you’re that cute.

Lucky: Oh.

Witt: I actually think you are stunning.

pause

Lucky: Oh. Uh, meh. I,um...thank you. You certainly have a gorgeous head, don't you? I like men who are about my height but heavier than me.

Witt: What?

Lucky: I’m sorry. I just really suck at flirting or showing any kind of emotions in general.

Witt: That’s ok. I actually don’t know how to flirt either. I had to ask some of my friends to help me figure what to say to you and there was one suggestion...I’m not going to mention it.

Lucky: No. Say it. I want to know.

Witt: Okay. It went like this; Row row row your boat gently down the stream. Merrily merrily merrily merrily I can make you scream

Lucky: What?!

Witt: Yeah I know look

Lucky: Oh my god!!

Lucky: that sounds a little bit like a serial killer

Witt: look i’m..ok….i see you coming to this spot in the park everyday and i notice you. i’m not stalking i swear to God i am not a psychopath. i wanted to ask you out a couple times but i didn’t how to so i asked some of my friends to help me

Lucky: and does one of your friends wear a straightjacket?

Witt: i’m sorry. i wasn’t going to use them

Lucky: good. and if you wanted to ask me out you can just ask me

Witt: lucky, you exquisite young lady

Lucky: oh my gosh

Witt: will you go out with me?

Lucky: um ( kisses witt’s cheek) yes.

Stand Up and Stand Out

Hi! So many you don’t know me and that’s ok. I try not to be someone that is noticeable. All of you know me as that girl who sits in the corner of the class who quietly gets straight A’s and reads her 400 page novel. Well, I do do that. But what I also do is watch you all. That’s right. I’m a creeper too. But seriously, I watch you all everyday. I listen to what you talk to each other about and I see you in the hallways everyday. If you thought that no one noticed that you started to wear long sleeves after your dog died, I noticed. If you thought no one could tell that you stopped eating lunch after that guy dumped you for the cheerleader, I noticed. If you think that you’re being slick when you go to the bathroom for 10 minutes and come back smelling like the inside of a Jamaican music store and 20 canisters of AXE body spray, then you obviously are just stupid. The point is that I see you. I see you guys trying to be cool in order to feel whole. I see you crying over a test you got a 93 on. I see the light in your eyes slowly go out everyday. I just want you guys to know that it will be ok. You will survive. You will make it and have a great story to tell others and encourage them. I know this because that was me. I was like you all. I’m still like you all. But I’m here to tell you that I don’t want you to feel like I feel. You deserve better. We all deserve better. This is what we will have as long we remind ourselves that we are worth it. You are worth. I am worth. Always count your blessings instead of your worries. And if someone tries to rain on your parade, just poke them in the eye with your umbrella.

Reporting Spam

May 1, 2010

sarah22@gmail.com: yo girl! wassaup!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: nothin’ just enjoying a great Saturday without anyone in the house:Dyahoo! whatcha up 2?

sarah22@gmail.com: just emailing u & listening to 104.7thefish. i can’t wait until the school year is oh-fi-chi-lee OHVAH! yeeyah! booyah girlfriend i’m gonna be hitting the rays (sunglasses guy smiling)

topazlovin@yahoo.com: black peeps don go tanning themselves all willy-nilly! yo gonna go walkin like the even worse version of Beyonce. but i guess that was already invented.

sarah22@gmail.com: Oh come on! u still bummed out about that? girl, it don matter!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: 2 u it don but 2 me is a hole different story!!

sarah22@gmail.com: is everything have 2 b different 2 u like 4 real?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yes, it does. Just because u no ur problems n can cope w/ it don mean that evry1 else can, sarah.

sarah22@gmail.com: really. we’ll get that back stabbing sneak topaz we will. i mean, who really cares about her.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well no1 really cares about her but they care about what she says.

sarah22@gmail.com: xplain profess. please.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: gladly.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: You see my dear. When Carla Rodriguez says something in the room she has the ability to make people care.

sarah22@gmail.com: really?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: Yes Sarah really. When she entered the middle school building in Lawrenceville, Georgia she decided that she would make it loud & clear that she will be the most terrible girl & the most wanted one as well. She had a look on her face that said you will now hate me, respect me, listen to every word I say, & forever become my mindless zombies. And anyone who doesn’t do this, I will either discriminate you or just turn you into a loner. And ever since then it has kept up until the 8th grade. Then when high school comes, she brainwash all men into stupid, idiotic pigs. In other words, You all are now my bitches. Wait a minute, they already are. Nevertheless, my warning to you: DON”T EVER TRUST HER BECAUSE SHE WILL RUIN YOUR WONDERFUL LIFE!! Besides, she already did to me. And now that we’re in high school, she’s gonna bring it down HARD.

sarah22@gmail.com: u r unbelievable! really what happened ‘cuz i’ve been hearing rumors all day! what happened?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ok hear it goes. well i was in English class right. Well I was passing out these new poetry books & as i was comin’ up 2 the cutie named Deshan. i decided that 2day was gonna be the day! i tried 2 catch his eyes & when i did it was like a dream! But then i heard Ms. Leard-Gillve screaming WATCH OUT & i felt something below me that made me trip! Next thing i no i’ve got my face falling suddenly & then my mouth is on top of Carla Rodriguez’s Liz Clairbourne high heels! “Oh! Get your cheap lipgloss lips off of my shoes, you perv!” That’s right! She had the nerve 2 call me a pervert! She’s the 1 that’s always flirting with Mr. Kenneth during every test he gives out ‘cause “she needs help”. It’s pathetic.

sarah22@gmail.com: i’m with ya on that 1. the only thing she needs help with is her obsession that involves her daily cup of European expresso. but isn’t Deshan like 2 years older than u?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah so?

sarah22@gmail.com: well i’m just sayin’. he’s like 1 of those guys who like 2 have 7 beers everynite & have these huge FRAT parties. he even stole a mailtruck to go joyriding. he’s trouble & ur dad will literally KILL u if u date him.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah but instead of looking at the CONs let’s look at the PROs. we’ll be so popular. we could push Carla around. i would be invited 2 a real FRAT party! & i could finally b a jerk 2 people & not get in trouble 4 it!

sarah22@gmail.com: what about our friend Ann? u no how much she hates people who r popular?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ah come on! i was so much fun until u brought that up!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ok jk. i think that if she has a problem w/ it then we can always hang out after school.

sarah22@gmail.com: TOPAZ!!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i jk girl! gosh u so…GOSH!

sarah22@gmail.com: yep that’s me! but i guess i won’t tell you his email;)

topazlovin@yahoo.com: u jivin’ right?

topazloviin’@yahoo.com: sarah?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: SARAH!!! L

sarah22@gmail.com: yes who is it?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: who it is.

sarah22@gmail.com: oh topaz how i missed ur sense of humor! J

topazlovin@yahoo.com: & how i love “The Cosby Show”  & how i’d love 2 no Deshan’s email! J

sarah22@gmail.com: & how i’d love 2 give it 2 u!

sarah22@gmail.com: but alas i cannot.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: y? y not? y must u b so cruel & keep me away from true love?

sarah22@gmail.com: u think that every hot guy u see is ur “true love”

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i do not!

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah u do

topazlovin@yahoo.com: prove it!

sarah22@gmail.com: that guy who gave ur order at McDonald’s in Roswell?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: he wasn’t exactly my taste.

sarah22@gmail.com: only when i pointed out that he was making out with that Anglo-European girl.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: whatever. another 1

sarah22@gmail.com: what about my older brother’s best friend Louis?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i new he was a playah from the minute i eavesdropped on his phone conversation with that retarded Asian girl.

sarah22@gmail.com: actually she looks like that Asian on “Charlie’s Angles”.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: not helping here! next!

sarah22@gmail.com: Mr. Kenneth?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hey! in my defense just about every girl in the whole school fell in love w/ him. even the girl teachers & the assistant principal!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: all the girls except the lesbians, feminists, & u.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: r u some sort of bi-sexual or something?

sarah22@gmail.com: ha ha ha! i am just a very strong, smart, funny, talented woman who doesn’t think that i am defined if i have a man or not.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well sarah i think that u forgot that in high school that rule is not cared 4.

sarah22@gmail.com: whatever.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well what r the pros & cons of being inlove w/ Mr. Ron Noel Daniel Kenneth?

sarah22@gmail.com: i’ll just list the cons

topazlovin@yahoo.com: whatever

sarah22@gmail.com: 2 old

topazlovin@yahoo.com: my old hottie

sarah22@gmail.com: hairy body

topazlovin@yahoo.com: sexy hairy

sarah22@gmail.com: sweaty easily

topazlovin@yahoo.com: love musky

sarah22@gmail.com: works at ur school

topazlovin@yahoo.com: we get 2 make-out behind the dumpster

sarah22@gmail.com: he dies before u

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i’ll get his money & b rich!

sarah22@gmail.com: has 2 live in a retirement home

topazlovin@yahoo.com: sleep w/ the young paramedics that come like every day 2 pick up the dead people.

sarah22@gmail.com: how do u xplain 2 ur children y daddy’s older than mommy?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: he’ll tell ‘em

sarah22@gmail.com: u r crazy!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well that’s a lot than Carla & her dirtbag posse how it was like to kiss a goddess’s feet? more like a God’s mistake!

sarah22@gmail.com: hey! The Lord our God makes no mistakes! U here me! NONE!!!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: okay i’m sorry. but still i am so ticked off

sarah22@gmail.com: well i’ve gotta get to my weekend hw.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ah crap!

sarah22@gmail.com: don worry i’ll try 2 email u later. Bye!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hey wait a minute! u did that so i wouldn’t get  Deshan’s email address! well that isn’t gonna stand! I DEMAND IT RIGHT NOW! NOW!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: SARAH!!!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: SARAH!!!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: fine. u may have won this battle but i will win the war! u here me! THE WAR!!!

1:04pm

sarah22@gmail.com: hey anne what’s up?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: nothing. i’m just trying not to be bored. i sure am glad that you started to email me right when i was surfing the web.

sarah22@gmail.com: really? what’d ya’ find?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: oh nothing interesting really. stupid videos & boring articles about the government. (Yawn)

sarah22@gmail.com: okay what were u really doin?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: i already told you.

sarah22@gmail.com: come on girl! i tell u lying through the screen! spill.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: well i’ve been going on eBay again & i found these gotta-have-‘em shoes there & they fitted right into my budget!

sarah22@gmail.com: y r u being such a shopping diva?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: actually they are for a friend of mine. a very special friend.

sarah22@gmail.com: really? that is so sweet! who is it? is it a kid w/ down syndrome? or maybe your friend that had a serious leg injury?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: actually it’s a girl who my mom watches where she works. Her name is Alma Java & her family doesn’t have a lot of money so her clothes are a wreck. Whenever I see her she has on these dirty clothes that stink or she wears a potato sack. It’s really sad.

sarah22@gmail.com: wow!! that is sad! y don they just go 2 Goodwill?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: her parents are to ashamed to go there. I mean, first they’re poor & then second they have to wear old clothes that other people already have.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: she’s supposed to go to a hospital pretty soon for a check-up on her lungs.

sarah22@gmail.com: ?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Well she used to live with these Jamaicans & her parents lived under them. The people there had some smoking pot, weed, crack, & anything else they can roll up in paper & still get high on. 1day she had some trouble breathing & when she got to her parents she could even look straight! But now she’s okay. Her parents are living in a safe & clean house with filtered air but she still has really bad asthma so she goes to a special hospital for check-ups to what else is wrong. I think this will be a really great i’m-here-for-you gift doncha think.

sarah22@gmail.com: (sobbing) i am so touched by what u said. it makes me feel so sad L

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: ha ha ha. thanks for being passionate. i’m not telling topaz though.

sarah22@gmail.com: ah come on girl. she ain’t gonna be like that.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: oh really? When I went over to her house to try & not moan over my dog’s passing she went up to me & said,” I know what happened to your dog. Ya’ know what you need? You need to get over it! Does your life revolve around that pathetic Rottweiler?” And then she laughed & asked if I wanted to go outside & shoot some hoops! wtf! I went there to get some affection & she just goes & shoves me down.

sarah22@gmail.com: oh come on! u no topaz. she’s not the weepy soft type (no offense). she’s tough ya no.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: yep. I remember when we were 7 your mom took us to McDonald’s. When she didn’t get the sprinkles on her ice cream, no one went on that playground again!

sarah22@gmail.com: oh yeah! that was the time when that cute guy gave her that napkin to wipe all the mayo out of her hair.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: i know. she must be wondering where he lives. but you were so scared when she started yelling like crazy after taking your happy meal then you didn’t talk to her for like 3 days. You are so dramatic.

sarah22@gmail.com: i am not! ya know that she actually asked me 4Deshan’s email. well after i told her that i knew what it was then she asked me 4 it.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Did you give it her? Please tell me you did! I don’t wanna lose someone else so early! Please tell me you gave it to her! Don’t tell me you didn’t!

sarah22@gmail.com: ok i won’t tell u

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: SARAH!!! I’d better start planning your funeral. I’ll remember to tell everyone that you were sometimes stupid at doing things that could’ve prevented your death like giving Topaz his email.

sarah22@gmail.com: oh how very funny!

sarah22@gmail.com: besides, i’ll give it to her at school tomorrow. & that was very sweet of u planning my funeral. remember to say that i was always going to be the best student that Harvard as ever going to have. if they new how amazing I was then they’d be eating out of my hand!

x-axismoods@gmail.com: I don’t know what is wrong with you but it is scaring me. Besides, I don’t have time for your funeral plans. I have a life of my own if you must know.

sarah22@gmail.com: well let’s here about ur life.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I have to be at another friend’s house in 10 minutes.

sarah22@gmail.com: is it the girl you’re gonna give the shoes 2?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: no. i’m going to Catalina Lopez’s house.

sarah22@gmail.com: tell me that this is a joke.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: nope. She’s failing in Spanish. I mean, come on! Her whole family is from Spain. She even bragged about one of her grandfather’s sleeping with one of the queens of Spain & she can’t even learn her own language!

sarah22@gmail.com: this is bad. i better start planning ur funeral! how’s bagpipes sound?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: like wwwweeeeee-hhhhhhoooo-be-be-be-be-be!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: & now i’m scared.

sarah22@gmail.com: well u should be. & u warned me about not giving her one guy’s email!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: well she’ll understand. She knows about when Catalina poured chocolate pudding on my new white cardigan because it looked better than her black jeans. She knows I ain’t that crazy about her.

sarah22@gmail.com: well i hope u survive it w/out her trying 2 cut off ur beautiful long black hair. (crying) c ya l8ter.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: drama queen.

4:20pm

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hey ya’ll! topaz in the house! please hold the applause.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: hey topaz.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hi sloth.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: That’s funny. Almost as funny as you kissing a goddess’s feet who I would very much like to meet.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: Don’t u dare!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: say that again & i will go over 2 ur & snap ur neck in ½ !

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: u r now scaring me.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i no. it’s a gift.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: more like something you should see a shrink about.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: u callin’ me craz?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: No but Catalina did.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: how u no dat?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I heard her say that at school in the lunch line.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: that sob

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Careful with what you say girl. Anyways, why did you really come & interrupt my studying.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well im so sorry Little Miss Smarty-Pants.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: anyhow, i was thinking that u & i could try & to do something a lil’ daring!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: No. Totally count me out. Once I saw the word daring I knew that it was not gonna be my thing.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh stop being such a goody-goody 4 once! don u ever wonder what it’s like to do something that u really wanna do & then once u do it u feel a victory! don u ever wonder?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I don’t have to because when that happens to you, you go on about your notorious victory & then I feel like puking out my guts.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh boo hoo hoo 4 wittle anne. come on girl! u don do anything fun!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: what about y-axis at church?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: u don do anything in ur life outside of church & school

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: yes i do! I once went to an R-rated movie.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: w/ ur aunt

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: So your calling me boring?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well u said it not me

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Grr! Did you do your weekend homework yet?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: no mommy, i’m sorry

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Gosh you are so mean!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i am not mean! i am real.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: listen i’m sorry. i didn’t mean 2b mean. will u 4give me?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: okay

topazlovin@yahoo.com: & while we’re acting all nice i was wondering well have u talked w/ sarah yet?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: yeah

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well did she idk mention anything about an email address

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: yes she did

topazlovin@yahoo.com: really?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Yes & guess what?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: wat?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I know it & I wanna tell you.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: THEN TELL ME!!!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I can’t

topazlovin@yahoo.com: y? y can’t u tell me it? TELL ME!!! i demand 2 no rite now!!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Sorry but you’ll have to wait.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: y? wat kinda sick ‘n twisted game r u playing here?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I’m sorry

topazlovin@yahoo.com: y? TELL ME!!! L

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Because…

topazlovin@yahoo.com: bcuz y? i can’t take the suspense! TELL ME!!! (frowny face with steam coming out of ears & cheeks turning red)

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Because I really do not know.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: WHAT?!?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: okay…bye-bye now!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hey u better come back here!!! i will not rest until there is a fight!!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: anne i no ur out there!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: anne?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ANNE!!!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: grr.

May 2, 2010

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: HALLELUYAH!!! Somebody shout out & scream HALLELUYAH!! HALLELUYAH!!! Thank you Jesus!! Thank you Jesus! Amen, amen, amen, amen, amen! Praise the Lord!! Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelu! Praise the Lord. Amen.

sarah22@gmal.com: Gloryb2God Most High!! I feel the spirit moving in our hearts!! Let us come & praise the Lord!! Amen. Amen. And AMEN!!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I feel so blessed ya’ll! How ‘bout you Sarah? Did feel it?

sarah22@gmail.com: oh yeah girlfriend! I am feelin’ the holy spirit all up in here! Mm-hm! Praise the Lord!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: That was a blast I’m telling you. What was the subject that Pastor Keith was talking about again?

sarah22@gmail.com: forgiveness

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Did you see Topaz at church because I didn’t see her at Sunday school?

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah. she was sitting with her dad 2day. i think that she’s in trouble.

x-axismods@hotmail.com: Oh no! Who did she kill?

sarah22@gmail.com: no1 yet. i think that she was out late last nite & then she woke up the neighbors by first waking up Mrs. Parkingson’s dog by driving into their flower bed.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: She can’t drive, yet.

sarah22@gmail.com: darn it Harold! he told me that story! that trick

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: That is why you need to stay away from the works of the devil!

sarah22@gmail.com: (gasp) how could u say something like that! anyways, what i think is that she was at IHOP or an open bar

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Yeah. She told me that Pastor Keith went to her house to pray for her but she said that all she was doing was daydreaming about her making-out with a hot senior.

sarah22@gmail.com: that totally sounds like her. anyways, i also heard a version of the story from Rochelle Evans in Sunday School. Ohmijesus, her shoes were sooo adorable! I could like totally die 4them! They were soo cute that mine’s looked like crap.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I heard her talking to her mom in saying that my skirt looked like it came out of the garbage.

sarah22@gmail.com: well we’re getting off the subject

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Right, right, Topaz in trouble. What do you think that she did?

sarah22@gmail.com: dunno. i’ll talk 2 her.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: i’ve gotta go. My mom wants to go shopping with me to the mall.

sarah22@gmail.com: can i go w/ ya’ll?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: sure.

sarah22@gmail.com: ok. can u guys pick me up at my house?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: okay. See ya there.

4:55pm

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: hey girl! what’s up?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh nothin. just being bored out of my mind. my dad is punishing me & he disconnected the internet on my computer but i’m using his. he’ll no how it feels.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: i’m emailing u on my phone at the mall.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ur by urself?

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: no. i’m w/ anne & her mom

topazlovin@yahoo.com: whatcha’ll doin? maybe looking at some very interesting plates or a new bra 4 our growing Anne.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: lol.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: besides, u r so off. it was fun.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: really? was it the fun we have when we go out together & then stay @ IHOP ‘til curfew? Or was it the grown-up people have @ book clubs or when u go shopping @ a thrift store?

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: neither

topazlovin@yahoo.com: so r u just bored

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: no, i’m having real fun. just normal girl fun.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: so r u guys sipping lattes, getting ur nails done & talking about the girl who had on too much make-up in the café & she gave u a look when she gave u ur stupid retarded lattes!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: chillax girlfriend! all we did was go to Claire’s & buy some new earrings. then we went to Dillards & i bought this gorgeous new dress & jacket. then we got hot cinnamonny pretzels & 3 cokes. we just had regular fun.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well now i’m stuck inside my own home! this sucks!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: wow! :0 hey, how did u get in trouble?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: God! i’ve been asked that all thru church & my dad is making me tell them the hole story! he even told Pastor Keith so now he’s gonna do devotion @ our house 2 try again & drive the “demon” out of me. tnf! like 4real! i have no demon! this is the way i am! but will they ever listen? NO! God, they r so stubborn!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: ouch! i’m sorry. L

topazlovin@yahoo.com: it doesn’t matter. i guess it’s better 2 tell my friends instead of just people i see only like 3x a week.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: right. so spill.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: but…

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: but what, Topaz?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh nothin. it’s just that i u wanna hear how i got in trouble…

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: well yeah. i mean, it’s just that Harold Evans told me this ridiculous version of what happened so i wanted 2 find out from my bff.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: that’s so sweet!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: ahh!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: but it only works on softies, sissies, & people who r as dumb as an horse’s ass!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: u still want his email don’t u?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yes! yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes! YES!!! GIVE IT 2 ME OR THERE R GONNA B CONSEQUENCES!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: okay.

5:02pm

topazlovin@yahoo.com: what’s taking u so long?

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: i’m looking 4 the paper that i wrote it on. FOUND IT!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: YAY J

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: it’s

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ?

sarah22@gmail.com: nunyabusiness@HA.com

topazlovin@yahoo.com: fu!

<mobile>sarah22@gmai.com: HEY!!! u hurt my feelings L

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah well i hope ur happy. u just did that 2make me feel like crap. well i hope ur happy! now if u’ll excuse me i have 2go & eat my dinner. u can have ur’s at the food court that’s @ the mall. well guess what? u don’t need 2 shove it my face while i’m still suffering! L

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: ohmigosh, i am so sorry, Topaz! i only met it as a joke. really i am sorry if i hurt ur feelings!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: 2late! bye.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com; no! i am sorry.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: i’ll give it 2u. i promise.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: i have 2go but please email me back.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: topaz!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: TOPAZ!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: topaz?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah?

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: i am so so so so so so so sorry if i  had hurt ur feelings. i only meant it as a joke. i didn’t mean 2b hurtful.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well u were & i don’t no y i’m still talking 2u. go back 2ur perfect little time at the perfect mall w/ ur perfect friend Anne who is really scum!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: no she isn’t! & don’t make it Anne’s fault when it’s mine! u no that.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah well u no wat i don no? DESHAN’S EMAIL ADDRESS!!!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: i am sorry.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: u should b. now if u’ll excuse me; i have 2go & eat my dad’s new chicken pasta w/ prunes.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: but i’ll give it 2u

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: seriously!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: i mean it!

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: please topaz.

<mobile>sarah22@gmail.com: bff?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: wat is it?

5:05pm

sarah22@gmail.com: hot4ever@aol.com r we still friends?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: we always have been

sarah22@gmail.com: what about our virtual fight just a minute ago?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: tbt: i was only pretending so i could get his email! BOOYAH!!! J

sarah22@gmail.com: WHAT!?!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i new that u would never give it 2me if i begged or demanded even tho i no that u have a little fear in ur heart 4me.

sarah22@gmail.com: oh yeah.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: so i tricked u. but i thought u would no better than 2even think that i would be a softie! but i new it would work. i just came up w/ it so fast i thought i had super powers.

sarah22@gmail.com: by turning ur hands & feet in2 lethal weapons.

topazlovivn@yahoo.com: but now i have the power 2flirt on w/ Deshan. but don’t worry. when i’m at the top of the food chain, i’ll give u guys my old gym shorts 2dryclean ;)

sarah22@gmail.com: lol, jk. i no who won’t like this.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh come on! it’ll be fun. u’ll be nice & she could be her soft self without getting her name on the dumbass wall in the bathroom.

sarah22@gmail.com: that exists?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah. i started it.

sarah22@gmail.com: u did?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah. i was hiding in the bathroom & i thought that it would be so cool 2 have something 2talk about that holds the real gossip.

sarah22@gmail.com: that is cruel & mean! did u not hear a word in church this morning?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: u no me.

sarah22@gmail.com: no i don! apparently not! the topaz i no would never do something so cruel, mean, rude, hurtful, dishonest. the topaz i no would be…witty.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah & the topaz u no wants every1 2no her.

sarah22@gmail.com: every1 does no u!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah but i don wanna b known as the girl who kiss another’s shoes on “accident”. it’s 2embarassing!

sarah22@gmail.com: i don think that that’s as embarrassing as having my pants fall down & then have my underwear strap hanging out all willy-nilly!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well if u’ll excuse me; i need 2 create some romance.

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah i guess i’ve gotta go2. i found these cute jeans that i wanna try on.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ciao! oh & make sure not 2strech out the but so i can wear it 2.

sarah22@gmail.com: whatev.

6:32pm

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hello i’m ur new sexting fairy! let the naughty talk begin.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i can’t give u a name if that’s what u want. but i’ll tell u this: i’m totally worth losing any girlfriend over, satisfaction guaranteed ;D

hot4ever@aol.com: then bring it on, babe! ;)

topazlovin@yahoo.com: do u no who i am?

hot4ever@aol.com: Topaz. it says it on ur email address.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh right! u’re so smart.

hot4ever@aol.com: yeah whatev. anyways, how did u get my email?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i googled u.

hot4ever@aol.com: cool. i got this really cool quiz that i took.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: awesomeness!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: Deshan?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: if u really wanna sext then we can get it on.

hot4ever@aol.com: that’s cool but i don feel like it.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: y? am i 2needy?

hot4ever@aol.com: no.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: am i 2stupid?

hot4ever@aol.com: no!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: is my game 2weak?

hot4ever@aol.com: no i just have 2go.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh ok.

8:43pm

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yo guess wat i just did?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: what because i’m almost done with my homework.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: fine miss goody-goody! i had a very mature conversation w/ -hold ur applause-Deshan Lawrence.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Deshan Lawrence? That’s the thing that interrupted me from my homework? You emailing Deshan? I’m just glad that Sarah gave you his email address.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yep but that’s only ‘cuz i tricked her into giving it 2me.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: wow. I really don’t understand you.

topazlovin@hotmail.com: well if u r goin 2contradict me then i’ll just tell some1 else.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Fine I’m sorry. What did ya’ll talk about?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh just normal stuff like celebs & he talked about Lebron James & other sports stuff. then he had 2go but i new that he didn’t want 2. so wanna go to the mall?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Isn’t it almost closed by now?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah but that’s the best thing! the stores that r having sales just give the stuff out if no1 buys everything! it’s like a dream come true1

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: aren’t you punished? Wait how did you get in trouble in the first place?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh great! every1 wants 2now everything about me all of a sudden?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I’m sorry :C

topazlovin@yahoo.com: it’s ok girl. gosh u r soft! i’ll tell u, i’ll tell u. i was mad at Carla so i decided to make a prank call. i flipped thru the phone book & found her mom’s name as Maria Rodriguez. i called the number & then when she picked up i said that i was delivering crapsuckers. she asked wat they were & i said that they’ll suck the crap out of u & that we had a special order for 100,000 crapsuckers for just her crappy family! then she hung up & she called an hour later & my dad picked up the phone. i guess she talked in a voice that sounded like her mom’s ‘cuz then next thing i no, i’m the 1 getting a lecture about being kind & pleasant but not threatening. i was asking why he would say that & he said that a lady called 2 say that i was threatening 2her daughter! if any1 threatened her daughter it would be her own limo driver! but he didn’t believe me when i said that i didn’t do it & u no y? ‘cuz i’m rousing, adventurous, mad, cruel, crazy child! & now i’m stuck @ home! this is hell.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Ouch.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh & that’s not all! i have 2do all the chores & do my hw everyday 4the rest of the week! i hate this. i’ll have no freedom 4like 6days. now wat do i do after school?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Go home & step team practice.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh & now i’m not allowed 2go 2the after trips like going 2Denny’s or Pizza Hut. i’m gonna die in my own room.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Well did he say anything about friends coming over?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: only 4hw.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Then I could come over after school if you like.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: that’s great! he always liked u ‘cuz ur a kissass.

x-axismoods@yahoo.com: Oh yeah. I love doing that all the time.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i no. thx anne.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Wow. This is like the 1st time you’ve been nice to me.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i no. it’s so revolutionary 4me.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Yep. Gotta go.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: good bye L

9:17pm

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Hey there!

clopezhot4ever@aol.com: hey. r we gonna study online?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Not exactly. I just wanna give you a website that I found that might help you with your homework when I’m not there to assist you.

clopezhot4ever@aol.com: rite whatev. i was wondering y u don hav ur hair out more often ya no.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I just don’t want to. Anyways, the website is www.spanish.com.

clopezhot4ever@aol.com: yeah great. i wanted 1no if u’d like 2go out?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Really? But I have things to do.

clopezhot4ever@aol.com: please? i mean, we’re now study buddies so i wanna no u better. please, please, please, please, please, please, please!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Um okay. Will you pick me up?

clopezhot4ever@aol.com: sure. bye.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Wait! Don’t you need my address?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Catalina?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Catalina?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Where are we going?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Catalina?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Catalina?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Hello?

May 3, 2010

sarah22@gmail.com: hey what happened @ school 2day? i thought u were gonna sit w/ topaz & me like u always do.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I know, I know but Catalina wanted me to sit with her at lunch so I could look over her homework but it turns out she forgot her books & her homework so I was stuck there & I had to listen to their conversation. It was torture because you know how much I hate people who are so mean.

sarah22@gmail.com: wat about topaz?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Whenever she’s mean it’s only if she needs to be or if she’s just trying to be funny. They’re mean for fun. Goodness I hate it!

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah but the purse & the pants? r u trying 2b a model or did u just feel like being a fashion diva?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: That’s so funny that I forgot to laugh.

sarah22@gmail.com: sorry but u said it urself that u love shopping 4cute clothes but u only wear ‘em @ church & never @ school.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Well I thought it was time for a change.

sarah22@gmail.com: a change? when we were in the 8th grade & i suggested that u wear some of those adorable skirts to school that u bought 1day, u almost made me call the cops when u tried 2tape my mouth shut & then lock me in ur closet 4about an hour! w/ ur crazy dog!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Well now I’m more mature then I was back then.

sarah22@gmail.com: really? just yesterday u got pouty ‘cuz ur mom didn’t want u2 get an icedream from the little chick-fil-a at the mall.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: You are just full of it aren’t you?

sarah22@gmail.com: come on girl. wat’s really goin on? wat did she do?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Okay. Well yesterday I emailed her just to give her this website that I found that looked like it could help her & the next thing I know, I’m trying on designer jeans! I felt so used.

sarah22@gmail.com: y did u even touch them? i no u hate 2think of having designer everything

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Well she wanted to get to know me better so she suggested that we go somewhere & it was 9:28. Surprisingly, there are a lot of places that you can go to in the middle of the night. I was home at 11:56! That’s the latest I’ve ever been out before!

sarah22@gmail.com: true dat! but i don get it anne. y would u even agree 2go somewhere in the middle of the nite? ur the good1! i thought u were all about wat’s inside that counts?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I am! Don’t worry though because that is the only time I’ll go out with her at night.

sarah22@gmail.com: ok. my brother is off 2day so wanna come over & play some video games?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: I don’t know

sarah22@gmail.com: come on girl! my mom is @ work & my brother will order pizza is ya like? we’ll get the salads that ur crazy about w/ the pasta! it’ll be like being in middle school again except now i’m a D-cup.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Actually I’ve gotta head down to Catalina’s house so we can study. I hope you don’t mind. Do you?

sarah22@gmail.com: oh well that’s ok. see ya ‘round.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: bye. have fun.

4:02pm

sarah22@gmail.com: whatcha doin?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: my hw. it’s torture. i hate Ms. Gordan.

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah. do u wanna come over 2my house 2play on my brother’s Xbox360?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: do u have 2ask me that question twice u beautiful saint?

sarah22@gmail.com: but ur grounded

topazlovin@yahoo.com: grr.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hey have u talked 2anne yet ‘cuz i’m ready 2start yelling!

sarah22@gmail.com: don u dare topaz! besides, she said that Catalina tricked her in2 taking her shopping in the middle of the nite.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: that makes sense. she’s 2soft. but that’s no excuse 2abandon ur friends & then sit w/ those cowards @ lunch.

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah but that witch tricked anne again by saying that she wanted 2study w/ her @ lunch when she “forgot” her books & hw. i think that she’s trying 2get revenge on u & ur prank call.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: how did u no? anne told didn’t she?

sarah22@gmail.com: no, i eavesdropped on Carla’s & Maria’s conversation. did you see that skirt she wore 2day?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yep. it’s kinda weird ‘cuz in books the skinny, rich, & gorgeous girls r popular when @ our school the rich, fat, & ugly r popular. they like 700lbs. put together!

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah. history is made. i’m worried about her. she might end up turning in2 1of them 4all that matter!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ur rite. i’m on my way over but i’m gonna TALK 2her instead of YELLING @her.

sarah22@gmail.com: grounded. remember?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: I’ve gotta rope ladder stashed in my closet where no1 can see it.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: but don worry. this time I’m gonna wear a helmet & pads.

sarah22@gmail.com: good girl.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: shut up, nerd.

sarah22@gmail.com: happy nerd

topazlovin@yahoo.com: whatever

4:11pm

topazlovin@yahoo.com: wtf!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: i was waiting for that.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i no. but wat i really wanna no is y u even thought bout not sitting w/ us @ lunch & wearing those…those…terrible woman’s clothes! xplain urself!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: i can’t right now because i’m busy.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: where r u?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: it doesn’t matter.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: tell me.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: no.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: WHAT? WHAT THE HELL!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: i said no. what’s so surprising?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ur supposed 2do whatevr i tell. not say no!

x-axismoods@yahoo.com: sorry.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: wat is wrong w/ u?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: leave me alone! i’ve gotta go.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ?

topazlovivn@yahoo.com: HEY! WHERE R U! HEY!!!

4:20pm

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Hey, I’m your new tutor.

hot4ever@aol.com: yeah whatever. who the hell is x-axis. is that some dumb ass code name or whatever.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: No, it’s Anne. Anne Samson.

hot4ever@aol.com: oh yeah. y r u my tutor?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: ‘Cause Mr. Gordan thought that I could help you improve your grade by being your study buddy.

hot4ever@aol.com: oh.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Well I’ve got this website that I really will help you.

hot4ever@aol.com: uh-huh

x-axismood@hotmail.com: The address is www.mathcounts.org/12thgrade-turtoring/_games

hot4ever@aol.com: awesome. thx

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Your welcome.

x-aixsmoods@hotmail.com: Oh & by the way: your not.

hot4ever@aol.com: not what?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: You ain’t hot. You so cold that your penis fell off.

hot4ever@aol.com: eww girl that nasty! where u get tht from?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: just a website that i google searched. it’s www.nastyjokes.net

hot4ever@aol.com: cool. hey, y does ur frnd topaz got tht ugly zit on the top of her forehead ‘cause tht thing is nasty. i wanna puck lookin’ @ dat.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: well let’s just say that puberty hits girls a lot harder than boys.

hot4ever@aol.com: oh yeah? just ‘cause ya’ll gotta have periods & birth control don mean tht ya’ll got it harder than the boys. no way sister.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: yes we do

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: If you must know, we grow hair everywhere.

hot4ever@aol.com: even on your breasts?

x-axismoods@hotmial.com: we’d even have mustaches.

hot4ever@aol.com: well ditto over here! what the hell you think you talking ‘bout? my penis just grew an inch.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: J hee hee! you have a long dick!

hot4ever@aol.com: shut the fuck up!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Oh no you di-n’t!

hot4ever@aol.com: oh yeah I did bitch!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: whatever dicks

hot4ever@aol.com: how come you don talk like this at school?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: ‘cause I ain’t any of them other girls that you date.

hot4ever@aol.com: well u ain’t pretty.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: hey!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Deshan?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: well make sure to look at that website.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: email me back if you need any help with your homework.

hot4ever@aol.com: whatever

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: i’m just doing my job

hot4ever@aol.com: r u allowed 2come over?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: sure

hoht4ever@aol.com: good ‘cause i need some1 2do my hw 4me ‘cause i ain’t gonna do that trash.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: no wonder i got two people to tutor. they’re both lazy

hot4ever@aol.com: shut the hell up & get over here.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: fine. What’s your address?

hot4ever@aol.com: 535 Russell Ridge Dr.  

5:12pm

sarah22@gmail.com: Anne? r u there?

5:13pm

sarah22@gmail.com: anne? anne ?

5 :15pm

sarah22@gmail.com: ANNE ! grl u betta answer me b4 i report u !

5:16pm

sarah22@gmail.com: she isn’t answering me.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: I bet they threw away her phone, bought her another1, & put all of their contacts in that1

sarah22@gmail.com: what is she doing?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: plz. I can handle this.

sarah22@gmail.com: no duh

5:20pm

topazlovin@yahoo.com: hello i’m wondering if a bitch that is named Annenabelle Samson that will have a ass whuppin’ w/ her name on it if she don answer me.

5:43pm

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: hey y’all! let’s go into mychat!

Now entering Annenabelle’s chat room

topazlovin@yahoo.com: alrite, 1st of all, UR ABANDONING UR OWN PEEPS HONEY!

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: listen, i am so sorry okay? i was studying with Catalina & then she kept asking me these retarded questions  like,” How do you say that again?” or “ Why does it sound like ------“ anyways, you guys understand. it was like teaching a dog how to order a pizza!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i’m not convinced.

sarah22@gmail.com: dang! she stupid. y can’t her own ‘rents teach her?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: ‘cause they think that it’s embarrassing

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yea. thr morons. ‘member when we were like 12 & it was summer & we were starting a bizz with cookies ’n all.

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: No nuts! Splenda instead of that killing mineral that they call sugar! Virgin oil! Scratch that! No oil! Pillsbury flour! Moreover, don’t use that cooking pan spray! Our precious little Catalina will break out into terrible & disgusting dots! No carbs! No fat! Nothing that has ingredients from Asia!  

sarah22@gmail.com: & then they were asking us to make the most complicated cookies in the world.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: im still waiting 4my xplaination.

sarah22@gmail.com: yeah anne. 1st lunch & then ignoring our emails? we new tht u were online.

x-axismoods@gmail.com: I’m sorry. I was tutoring someone else. Mr. Gordan thinks that it’ll give

me work & that it’ll also make me leave him alone w/ all of the questions. As if.

sarah22@gmail.com: wait! didn’t he say that we could do tht?

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Well only his accelerated class can do that? And since there are mostly guys, they only chose the step team.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well then y doesn’t Sarah have 2people 2tutor?

sarah22@gmail.com: ‘cause i’m failing

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Mr. Gordan says that she doesn’t have a chance to stay in his class.

sarah22@gmail.com: WHAT? when did i leave the chatroom tht gave you the permission 2say tht?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: the bastard. he said tht he liked my painting for the art show!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: listen, I’m sorry for ignoring your emails. I really am. Besides, I hate studying with Catalina.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well then ask the bastard if u can switch!

sarah22@gmail.com: uh hello? didn’t u hear him when he said,” And NO SWITCHING! NONE! I MEAN IT!” in his usual grlly voice.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: the bastard.

sarah22@gmail.com: i no! let’s go to the Mozart’s Café!  

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: Or we could go to Pizza Hut!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: Mozart!

x-axismoods@hotmail.com: okay.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: u r so soft. J

sarah22@gmail.com: let’s go!

5:56pm

sarah22@gmail.com: get ur 2tor?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: Ronald l.

sarah22@gmail.com: he’s an idiot

topazlovin@yahoo.com: who gives a crap? I’m gonna use him to reel in my real man!

sarah22@gmail.com: keep dreamin

topazlovin@yahoo.com: & all of ‘em r rated-X

sarah22@gmail.com: i hope the pastor delivers u from ur ways

topazlovin@yahoo.com: keep tryin

6:01pm

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: Hello?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: Ronald?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: no. It’s Herbert. I’m your math tutor.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i thought tht ronald lesley was gonna b my 2tor.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: well he’s Franky’s. did you do your homework?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: uh herb i already have 2 parents so i don need u asking me tht. & no i didn’t mommy

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: oh ha. very funny.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: that’s y everybody loves Topaz! J

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: whatever. do you need any help or whatever.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: no. y don’t u just get it over w/ & then go back to watching another retarded episode of Star Trek?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: no. i’m rushing so i can go back to the ceiling on my apartment building & look thru my telescope. bsides, i hate that

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i thought all nerds loved it.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: another idiot. great.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: another geek. perfect.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: listen the only real reason that I’m your tutor is that before Mr. Gordan assigned study buddies, I gave him $300 cash so that I could be your partner.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: y?

topazlovin@yahoo.com:DO U LIKE ME?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: as if. you aren’t even my type.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: then who r ur type?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: as if any grl can even try 2fit in the category.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@yahoo.com: when you say that your only referring to yourself.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well then who falls in your category?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: Sarah.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: what u like grls tht refuse make-up & r geeks?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: no. Girls who don’t need fancy clothes & jewelry in order to define themselves as mature, honest, beautiful, smart, funny, attractive, sweet, pretty woman. Girls who don’t look at their reflection every 10 min. or act like idiots which is what they call “flirting”.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: no wonder u looked @ her ass when she walked by u in tht dress on pic day.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: do u no tht she doesn’t no tht ur alive?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: whatever. i’m not supposed 2even b on the computer rite now. if you need help then just email your questions.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: wait! i still have questions bout u liking Sarah!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: how long has it been? was it as long as when she wore the deep V-neck shirt in the 4th grade when her breasts were a B-cup?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: or how bout the time when she bent over to pick up a piece of chalk in front of the whole class with her underwear showing?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: or what about the time when she got hit by a water balloon on joke day in elem. school & she wasn’t wearing a bra?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: oh come on Herb! i’m not gonna stop until u answer.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: i’m discussing my personal life with a stepper!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: don b hatin

topazlovin@yahoo.com: but i’m serious!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ya no i have her email address.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: duh. if ur her frn then u’ll have her email

topazlovin@yahoo.com: wanna it or not?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: yeah right. what’d i say?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: whatever u say 2 her in ur tech. ed. classes

nerdswilldominatethearth@delicious.com: i’m not emailing her.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ah come on. ur the1 who said that you liked her. bsides, u’re her type.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@yahoo.com: really?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah. i mean, ur nice, smart, not so handsome 2me but i think tht’ll work 4her, ur in a lot of her advanced classes, & i was never in love w/ u.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: wow thanks so much. not.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: ya want it?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: i don care ok.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah u do. i no u do.

nerdswilldominatethearth@delicious.com: i should’ve gone with Anne instead.

topazlovinv@yahoo.com: yeah well she would’ve been talked really talked bout the homework. i like 2do this stuff.

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: great.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: well anyway, it’s sarah22@gmail.com

nerdswilldominatethearth@delicous.com: i’m gonna go.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: don tell her tht i tol u her email!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: im 4real Herbert!\

topazlovin@yahoo.com: HEBERT!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: if u tell her then i’ma flip u @ school tomorrow!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: & i ain’t lyin’ boy! when i threat i never lie ya go dat! i’ma come up to u & then grab u by the shoulder & then punch u in the face so hard that u’ll nose will be pushed in.

6:18pm

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: (Bernie Mac) who ya with?

sarah22@gmail.com: my retarded bro. who you with?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: no one. i’m emailing u from my roof.

sarah22@gmail.com: how come?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: the reception is better up here.

sarah22@gmail.com: cool. how did u get my email?

nerdswilldominatetheaearth@delicious.com: topaz since i’m her tutor.

sarah22@gmail.com: but y would u get my email if ur her 2tor?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: well i just wanted 2talk 2u more.

sarah22@gmail.com: oh. awesome.

nerdswilldominatethearth@delicious.com: ya know i’ve gotta a new piece that i’m working on right now. ya wanna read it?

sarah22@gmail.com: don even ask me twice!

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: so is that a yes of a no?

sarah22@gmail.com: totally!

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com:

There once was a little dog that was in his dog house. He saw a bone land in his yard. He took it & then buried it behind his home. Then he went to the dog-mart. He saw a prissy Chihuahua that was called Carla. A crazy German Shepherd came & then sliced her head off with the meat cutter. The dog bought the prissy’s head & some apples. He went home & saw the pretty golden retriever sitting in his doorway. He welcomed her in & they ate the prissy’s head. He opened the top of the prissy’s head & wasn’t surprised to see that it was full of make-up & pictures of boys& other crap that didn’t matter but she didn’t give a damn & stuffed it in her nub head . The golden retriever took the hallow head & an apple & made it into a laser beam so she could bounce it off of the moon. However, the beam went crazy because of the bone that sent the beam to the little dog’s penis & zapped it off. Then the bone walked in, laughed, & took the penis. The bone put it on & walked away turning into Joe Swanson.. The golden retriever the took a mascara wand & replaced the little dog’s penis. & now he must pee out mascara ink for the rest of his life. However, after that they both got drunk & she jumped his bones.

                                           

                                                        THE END.

sarah22@gmail.com: J

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: cool huh.

sarah22@gmail.com: dude, that was so funny that i nearly fell out of my chair! u have a wild & dirty imagination man!

nerdswilldominatetheearth@gmail.com: i thinking of getting my own website & then posting that on there.

sarah22@gmail.com: that would be so cool!

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: i no.

sarah22@gmail.com: but...

nerdswilldominatethearth@delicious.com: but what?

sarah22@gmail.com: i’m worried

nerdswilldominatetheearth@gmail.com: about?

sarah22@gmail.com: didn’t topaz tell u not 2tell me that u got my email from her?

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: yeah so?

sarah22@gmail.com: uh oh!

nerdswilldominatetheearth@delicious.com: oh come on! i’ve gotta go now.

sarah22@gmail.com: oh. well see ya.

May 4, 2010

sarah22@gmail.com: why?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: why what?                                                                  

sarah22@gmail.com: why did you give him my email?

topazlovin@yahoo.com: so r u mad?

sarah22@gmail.com: heck nah! u crazy

topazlovin@yahoo.com: yeah

sarah22@gmail.com: ha ha ha! ur so funny.

topazlovin@yahoo.com: i no

sarah22@gmail.com: i mean that i didn’t need ur help w/ talking to him ya no

topazlovin@yahoo.com: no i didn’t no

sarah22@gmail.com: <sigh>

topazlovin@yahoo.com: but what i do no is dat u would’ve never sucked up the erg 2talk 2the dude.

sarah22@gmail.com: yes, i would’ve

topazlovin@yahoo.com: no u wouldn’t

sarah22@gmail.com: ok. mayb i wouldn’t’ve but i still have my dignity

topazlovin@yahoo.com: whateve. hey have u talked 2anne yet?

sarah22@gmail.com: no. whenever i see her in the hallway i go 2talk 2her but then Carla swoops in & then pushes her away & she doesn’t even care!

topazlovin@yahoo.com: wow

sarah22@gmail.com: i no rite! i think something bad is happening

topazlovin@yahoo.com: nah ya think?

sarah22@gmail.com: shut up?